Wash Your Hands, My Friends

I bet you've all been wondering where did that fellow, Asimov, go, anyway? I know it's been awhile since last I wrote, but, well, I'm just standing here on my fake tree branch inside my cage, tapping my three-toed foot, wondering when somebody (referring specifically to insurance companies) will have the guts to put us into business. You may be wondering why they don't insure us when we're so incredibly wonderful, but this is some information that's gotten passed along the grapevine to me recently, so I learned it right from the horse's mouth. (From Athos, to be specific, and he learned it from his friend who's a cow, who has been at the state fair in year's past.)

As it turns out there are kinds of sickness that we animals have that aren't that easy to recognize or see so farmers and veterinarians wouldn't even know that we've got them. As in, we aren't actually sick, but if you touch us, then you can get sick from us. If you haven't spent much time around animals (as a farmer gets to do) then you haven't had a chance to build up an immunity to things that we can catch. So people sometimes get sick after a state fair and then they sue the animals' owners. This is not fair because there is one simple remedy that people can use to be responsible. After you're around a petting zoo and you interact with animals (drum roll please) . . . wash your hands! It's that simple. I'm spreading the word and hoping this will encourage people to not be so stupid. If you pet a llama who's carrying something that he can accidentally pass your way, and then you eat some fries (oh, my mouth is watering right now) and a hamburger, and you're touching that burger with your dirty little fingers and then eating whatever passes from your dirty little fingers onto your burger and into your mouth, well, you can take responsibility for your own health by washing your hands after you touch an animal and again before you eat. Voila! Problem solved. No more dirty fingers. No more dirty burger. No more dirty mouth. It's that simple.

If you read this, pass the message and slow the germs. Perhaps that will speed this ridiculously slow process. I am just not used to your human ways, my friends. My stick is getting worn through with my incessant pacing.