Thanks for the Memories!!

Last Saturday, we had a birthday party at the GEE Funny Farm! Eight kids and two adults came to visit ME (and some of the other animals). Of course I was the most important visitee:) Everyone held me and took pictures of me - it was awesome!!

Besides the wonderful time they had with me, they took in two (that's right, TWO) presentations. One was about care of animals -- I was part of that -- and the other was food and fiber. They met Aramis the mini horse, Moses the mini donkey, Timothy the goat (and saw his feet get trimmed), Boaz the rabbit (he, too, got his feet trimmed and his scent gland cleaned out - YUCK!), Isaac my cage buddy, and Abish the green aracari -- and that was for the FIRST presentation. All of us got attention, which we all LOVE -- the kids brushed and pet and oohed and ahhed in delight -- ya gotta love it!

They took a break and matched eggs to birds (it isn't as easy as you would think) and learned how to tell if eggs are fresh or old. Then they tasted some goat's milk.

For the second presentation they met and milked Martha the goat. These kids have talent!! They all got milk on the first try! They met one of the chickens, a turkey, and the goose. It was a fowl time - ha! Then they met Liahona the llama and Nephi the alpaca. And finally, they got to pet Eunice the emu.

They also got to pick a bar of goat's milk soap (you can make all sorts of things out of goat's milk -- who would have thought?!?). Choosing some wool, they patted and rubbed in water, made bubbles and wet felted the wool around the soap. When they use their bar of soap, they will have a built-in washcloth. Pretty cool, huh?!

They also took a hayride around the property to see the animals, including Clancy the wallaby and Kathy's horse, Porthos.

They had planned to have cake at our place, but it was so windy they decided to have it at home. It was also a good bargaining chip to get them to leave!! Even after an afternoon at the Farm, the kids were still excited to be here. It is because we are AWESOME -- though I am the MOST awesome.

I sure liked the attention -- I hope they, or some of their buddies, come again soon!

Later -- Asimov!!

Moving Out of Summer, With Style

All was not doom and gloom at the Gee Funny Farm during the end of summer, despite our heavy losses in the realm of "fowl"-play (Ha ha! Okay, not funny. Sorry. But puns are so irresistible. Once you think of one, you can't stop yourself.) In fact, Kathy was busy, busy, busy.

Busy with Kids' Fest to begin with. Kids' Fest was an event hosted by the YMCA. Kathy was able to have a booth to present from and a few moments on the "stage." Stage, here, is in quotation marks because "stage" usually suggests an audience and the only ones listening were two people-- a grandma lady with her granddaughter, who, it so happens, are also Kathy's friends. Ah, well. The booth still got attention, even if Kathy and the Navajo churro lamb's entertainment on stage went unnoticed. At the booth everybody wanted to pet me (of course). They also wanted to pet Isaac, but he's not really into touch. You know, that's African grays for you. Talk to him and he's happy as can be, but me? I bask in the glorious feel of fingers running down my feathers. Oh yeah! Do it again! Lucky for me to have such a non-touchy-feely cage-mate. Means more for me! We're hoping that some of the home-schoolers, who expressed an interest, will book with us! Ah yes, a bunch of active little hands dying to stroke my adorable little body. Bring it on!

Kathy also went out, this time for Porthos the Percheron cross, to teach that horse some lessons. Kathy and Porthos headed out to Parelli Natural Horsemanship training, and David tagged along to watch, er "audit." Porthos is a heck of a horse at about 17 hands tall. And he's smart too (I mean, for a horse). This is fun for Kathy, but it also entails keeping his active mind working and not letting him get away with stuff. Well, Kathy had already been very interested in Parelli, but she was all out sold after her weekend of working with Porthos. I see more outings for those two in the future. As for David, well, these sorts of things are not necessarily his things, but he was impressed and interested too and even condoned future training!

Speaking of Porthos, I feel he deserves some tribute today in honor of his stellar and unexpected herding in the face of possible chaos. (I forgot to do it in a timely fashion, but, hey, I'm patting his back now, so no criticism if you please.) One day this summer, one of the household inmates (I don't remember which it was) observed that one of the gates was open. The people, namely Kathy and Keegan (with baby in stroller), headed out before it was too late. But, well, it was too late already. Animals had noticed the open gate and headed for the hills. Actually, nobody was moving that fast. Mostly they were grazing on the green grass on the other side of the fence. (If they had been safely confined while munching in this area, David probably would have appreciated their enthusiastic mowing.) Seeing that their feast was about to come to an end when Kathy arrived, the animals headed round the corner of the fence, in the direction of the swamp and total freedom (or if you take your lesson from the chicken story, possible death). Kathy and Keegan accessed the situation. Both have had some experiences like these before with Kathy the more experienced in every way. It looked like it might be a LONG afternoon. And then, what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Porthos (who had been at the lead of the escape), taking a prancing step to herd the sheep and goats back to the field. And in very un-horse-like fashion, he herded most of them in and then galloped back through the fence and into the field himself. Okay, so it may have been a little unjust to say he was only smart for a horse. He is just simply one smart, gifted, likable hunk of horse, and Kathy and Keegan were SOOOO grateful THEY didn't have to do the herding!!

Then Kathy went to the Sheep and Wool Festival in Jefferson, WI. She took classes about making goat's milk soap, dyeing wool, weaving, and needle felting. Nothing to do with feathers, so who cares, but she liked it.

And finally, Abinadi, Hosea, Nephi, and Kathy went to Llama Camp. They hiked and Abinadi got hooked up to a cart -- he should tell you about THAT! Kathy learned more things to do with wool and they came back all bonded and happy. Why don't they have parrot camp?!?!? That's what I want to know.

All right, already, I'm done thinking about anybody but myself for awhile.

RIP Poor Elvis

I'm not talking about the Elvis who may or may not have died in 1977. I'm not talking the King of Rock 'n Roll. I'm not talking the Elvis who was surnamed Presley. And I'm certainly not talking the Elvis who made the ladies swoon. No, our Elvis kicked the bucket in 2011. And our Elvis was the king of barnyard crooning. And our Elvis was probably surnamed something like Roostermeister. And our Elvis did not have much success with the ladies.

In fact, this very Elvis I speak of wrote (on my blog) just a few months back about his troubles. Well, those independent ladies were just the beginning of his problems as it turns out. Presumably, there was something lurking in the shadows. Not only was Elvis himself lost, but his brave and daring ladies were a little too brave and daring for their own good. Our evil preying enemy of the night didn't stop with the chickens, either. No, he moved on to bigger fowl. Three ducks, who have lived on the Farm for over a year, disappeared. Then one of Kathy's imprinted geese disappeared. As your imagination surely suggests, August was a sad and mournful time at the Gee Funny Farm as our wicked nemesis picked off our colleagues not just one by one but by groups and in daylight!!

The results of his evil deeds linger on. Freedom has been restricted for the protection of remaining fowl. The outdoor fowl now spend no time open grazing these days.

All I can say is, Boy, am I glad that my cage is in the safe shelter of a house. The outdoors can be scarey -- and it seems that something wicked likes birds for evil purposes!! It is a sad time for feathered critters!

"Independence" Means: Taking a Long Walk Before Adoring Fans

I know: You probably lost faith in my expertise as a valuable reporter on the goings-on at the Gee Funny Farm after my last disappointing and despicably unimpressive report. Well, I will do my best to make it up to you even though I do still have to catch up.

On July 2nd, we headed out to the town of Oconomowoc, Wisconsin in all our glorious -- er, glory to participate in their Independence Day parade. Perhaps you were there cooling in the shade of a tree as we rushed along through the hot, steamy, baking, roasting--and did I mention "HOT"? --streets. Our party included two going-on elder adults (I say with all the fondness I possess for David and Kathy, but, hey, they are grandparents and for people it takes some age to get to that point), one younger adult, two lovely teenage girls, one pre-teen, one preschooler, and one baby. (All but the lovely teenage girls are Gee family descendants. Ain't they all lucky?) And that's not even the animals, eh!

Well, on to the animals! Of course, I (Asimov, the umbrella cockatoo) was there in all my splendor, and so was Shiblon, the Angora goat; Obadiah, the Oberhasli goat; Liahona, the llama; and Moses, the miniature donkey.

We all got shuffled around to different handlers for various reasons. I, for example, was ousted from the wagon because the two-and-a-half-year-old was struggling to keep up. It was okay with me because it was hard to keep hold of my perch in that wagon while we were jolting along. Plus, I mean, I'd always rather be held anyway. And, I understand about short legs. I tell you, preschoolers and birds are not made for long-distance walking.

The other difficulty was Moses. Adorable, braying, silly Moses refused to walk through the middle of the street. He was switched from a teenager to Kathy and she coaxed him along. And then, all of a sudden, those humans caught on. His problem? The man-holes were scaring the tar out of him. And who can blame him? The very name suggests dropping to your doom. We animals know that you people think only in terms of yourself linguistically-speaking, so in our heads we just tack right on man/donkey/horse/etc.-holes and we say, "If you think I'm going over that death trap, you, my friend, have another think coming!" As a bird, of course, I don't take issue with these sorts of things and I don't feel the need to add myself to that list. If everybody had wings, you all would be better off.

Besides the man-hole dilemma faced by confused humans, the other funny thing was watching poor Keegan (the young adult I mentioned) wearing jeans, t-shirt, socks, and tennis shoes with a baby strapped to her person and pulling the wagon with her older son and all the extra flyers and cards in it. Okay, so I felt pity for her on that sauna of a day. And I felt grateful that I have not had any offspring and that even if I did, we parrots don't work that way. But I about died laughing when a (shirtless, shoeless, shorts-clad) man drinking some (probably ice-cold) beverage, sitting in the shade said with a smile, "Hot day, isn't it?" And oblivious Keegan said mildly, "Yup, pretty hot." She didn't make the connection until much later that he was being ironic. But I am more astute than she is. Whoever that dude is, he should come visit the farm and give me a few more laughs. Sometimes you humans are too much fun!

Waukesha Deaf Organization

Hey! Did you know that there are some people who can't hear (are deaf ) who have adopted a positive attitude toward their deafness. They choose to notice the advantages to their deafness. I once overheard Kathy's daughter Keegan sharing this fact from a class entitled Deaf Culture with a Deaf woman at the university she attended (Brigham Young University). The professor was married to a hearing man and had hearing children. She said that an alarm went off in their town by accident and took some time to turn off. It was driving her husband crazy, but this woman wasn't fazed at all. When it was time for bed? Well, no problem, she could drift off into dreamland undisturbed, while her husband was miserable. Another major bonus she shared? Bickering children are always on mute. Ah, the peace of a quiet household. I suppose there are days that she would be glad not to hear the noise level at the GEE Funny Farm -- that Isaac is always talking or whistling.

[Note: You may not have known that there was such a thing as Deaf Culture. Or you may have thought that people who can't hear would prefer to be called hard-of-hearing rather than Deaf. Well, it just so happens that many people in the United States (and around the world) take pride in their identity as Deaf and prefer to think of themselves as who they are (deaf) rather than as who they are not (as in "not hearing"). Those who choose to identify themselves in this way participate in a language (American Sign Language) and a culture with rules and guidelines and expectations. And while some people would prefer to be called "hard-of-hearing," there are many, many people who would prefer to be called "Deaf" (capital "D"). A site you might check out is called www.deafculture.com. -- Heh. We weren't kidding about this educational experiences thing now were we? *Wink*Wink*)

Why did I share the previous anecdote? Well, when the Waukesha Deaf Organization visited, Isaac pointed out how glad these folks must have been not to have to hear MY silky tones. Issac thinks he's so funny -- well, he's not! The fact of the matter is, I'm generally quite well-mannered and soft-spoken . . . when I'm the center of attention (no winking involved here!).

Members of the Waukesha Deaf Organization visited us back in June. Arriving at the Gee Funny Farm was a little tricky because this summer Highway 83 (where we are located) was Construction Central, but for those who made it, they were awed and amazed by my dazzling performance (as always). And they may have been pleasantly interested in one or two other things like the bottle fed Navajo churro lamb, Keturah. Ugh -- those babies steal a lot of the attention that is meant for ME! Oh, and one person about had heart failure when Abish, the green aracari toucan landed on him - well, he'd been warned! I stay on MY perch unless someone offers me a hand...

. . . All right, the fact of the matter is, after time passes, I do tend to forget about everything that happened that doesn't involve me. So sue me. Playing catch up isn't my strong point. I'll keep up better in the future.

From the Henhouse

I've stepped in to tell you about happenings at the GEE Funny Farm. My name is Elvis and I'm a silkie rooster. I was brought to the Funny Farm by my friend, Becky, because she has another rooster, and as everyone knows, no one needs more than one rooster!!

Anyway, I came and was alone for awhile; Kathy would groom me (I can't reach those pin feathers on my head), and I liked that, but it sure was lonely! Then, two weeks ago, 6 cute chicks showed up during the day. They were in a house next door, but we could see each other and I strutted and crowed a lot so they could see how cool I am!

Last week, we were all let into the yard. I was SO excited!! I just knew these pullets (they are really older than chicks-I'm NOT a egg robber) were going to love me. I even got a chance to show how brave I am. Kathy got all of the pullets into MY house and yard and the ducks (those bullies) came barreling through the door to get the food. I rounded the pullets up into a corner and I stood up to face those ducks. Nothing ended up happening since as soon as they were done eating they took off, but the point is I was ready to defend my girls!!

So, I thought all was well, but when we went outside, these girls headed off into the trees and bushes. I was horrified! Don't they know about raccoons, opossums, hawks, coyotes, and foxes?!? They could have been sitting ducks (so to speak) for any of them (well, maybe not the hawks, though they do sometimes land in a tree waiting for unsuspecting birds to wander by). I ran over and clucked gently, explaining the danger, and headed to the pen. As I arrived at the door, I looked back to make sure all my girls were there and to my astonishment not one had followed me. I tried again. They all came around me and seemed to listen to directions, but again, when I arrived at the safe house I was alone. Kathy, who for some reason was snickering, herded them inside and I could breathe easy since we were safe.

To my amazement, even though those hussies cuddled up to me at night, they totally disregarded my attempts to get them to safety during the day and evening hours. Kathy had to help me every time -- females! Can't live with 'em, can't live without them.

The good news is, I finally rule the roost and I get the girls in safely at night -- maybe I didn't get the brightest bulbs in the pack, but they are mine - whew! What a fella has to put up with!!

Oh, thanks, Asimov, for letting me post.

From the henhouse, over and out - Elvis

A Visit From Some Bird Lovers

I know what you're thinking: "Aren't all people bird lovers?" The fact of the matter is, yes, I'm sure they are. But, more specifically, we were visited by a group of people who own birds. The group is called the Cream City Feathered Friends. One lucky woman had a bunch of cockatoos, maybe seven? Can you imagine the Heaven she lives in? The only thing that could make it better for her would be if one of those were me. (Although she got confused while she was here and fell in love with Abish, the green aracari toucan and didn't give me the attention I deserve. Not as discerning as I would have expected, but that's some people for you . . . Ah well, at least my Kathy knows my true worth.)

Perhaps because these people have parrots and love birds, they were especially admiring when I displayed my talents. Apparently, not every bird is smart enough to wave, turn, and kiss on command. And not every bird can nod when asked if he would like a cracker. No, I am one of a kind.

I have to admit that I did get a little jealous of one bird I heard about. I heard that one couple that attended this event had a cockatoo who gets to go cruising on their motorcycle with them. Seems to me that that would be worth trying. The closest I've ever gotten is looping my beak over a car window that's slightly ajar as we're driving down the open road. Man, do I love the feel of the wind surging beneath my wings. I tell you, that is one lucky bird.

As for this group's fun farm activities, they stopped to admire and pet our most unique and ancient-looking bird character here just before their hayride. While visiting Eunice the emu, Abinadi, our beautiful brown llama, came up to check out the visitors. Abinadi was born here on the farm and it shows. He has such charm and such manners. I don't usually wax poetic about anybody, well anybody but me that is, but Abinadi and Liahona (also a llama) are sort of special. Apparently, one fellow even got a little kiss from Abinadi. You would know about Abinadi's gift with people if you had heard this man when he came back after the hayride. When they first arrived, his wife had been saying she wanted llamas and he didn't seem very excited, but now here he was offering to buy or kidnap ours. No such luck. Kathy doesn't plan to part with him and she's keeping a wary eye open for anything suspicious. You, my friend, are going to have to keep a' searching.

In sum, it was a very successful visit. We liked them. They liked us. Now, on to our next visitors, the Waukesha Deaf Organization. And then we'll be headed on parade in Oconomowoc on July 2. To keep up with our activities, check out our calendar of events: http://www.geefunnyfarm.com/Events_on_the_Farm.html. We are certainly keeping ourselves busy this summer!

The Star of the Show

Oh, yesterday how I loved you. Yesterday was the beautiful, marvelous, happy day in which eleven cute little brownies (the human kind, not the chocolate kind) came to see the Funny Farm. They were excited and delighted to arrive and glimpse a llama, an alpaca, a miniature donkey, a miniature horse, two sheep, and three goats. They struggled to keep their active little rear ends on their benches because these eight and nine-year-olds were just so enthusiastic. I loved it. Or I would have loved it if I had actually gotten to witness it.

No, I, Asimov, the beloved and devoted Umbrella Cockatoo of Kathy Gee, found myself shut up in the back of the Jeep enclosed in a little bitty cage sharing the trunk with a bunny and a bunch of cheeping chicks. All right, so I ought to be glad that it was even warm enough that I could go out on display at all. And I ought to be glad that my Kathy is so conscientious about my safety that she didn't leave me out there the whole time to catch a cold. But I admit I've never claimed to be a saint. (Well, maybe I have, but anyway...) I want my cake and eat it too. I wanted to see those little Girl Scouts and not just hear them.

I could hear their giggles, and peals of laughter, and shouts of observation, and random outbursts about their or their families previous animal experiences. I heard them ooh and ahh over the softness of alpaca fur. I heard them vie for their chance to pet Aramis the rambunctious neighing miniature horse. I heard their snorts of disgust when Kathy demonstrated how to clean a bunny's scent glands (and I don't blame them). I heard them attribute my musical demonstrations (okay, loud complaining) coming from the back of the car to the emu, can you believe it?! Emus have none of the finer acoustic qualities that I pride myself on. As you can imagine, I was miffed. Female emus sound like a bass drum and males grunt and growl. You can't even tell it's an emu making the noise. When I want to be heard and you can see me, then you know that it's me making the noise. None of this sneaking, weirdo noise-making for me. Ah hem. Anyway.

The moment came when I was unveiled for their viewing pleasure. And, as you can imagine, they adored me. With a little cracker persuasion (apparently there were no French fries available, but, hey, honestly I'm flexible where food is concerned) I waved, and turned, and kissed, and nodded to their endless delight. Then one of those perceptive and eager little mites asked my Kathy if they could hold me, and, while it hadn't been planned, she complied. A minute or so of holding for each of the girls for what you people call a "photo opportunity" and then a chance to pet my gorgeous feathers and then those girls felt themselves to be in something bordering on Heaven. And that basically ended their Gee Funny Farm experience.

Okay, they did get to practice goat milking with some plastic gloves. And, okay, they did get to watch Kathy milk a goat, but, psh, what's that? Nothing. I was the resolution, the finale, what you might call the star of the show. I only hope they come again soon. Honestly, I think I'm in love.

What's New? Why, I'm Glad You Asked

Spring is making its merry little way onto the GEE Funny Farm and we are gearing up for you to come see us. I am preening my beautiful white feathers and Isaac is whistling his obnoxiously sweet little whistle. Believe me, we are so cute you cannot stand to miss me . . . ahem, us, I mean.

With the advent of spring, not only do you have the pleasure of getting a look at my good lookin' winged body when you come get educated at the farm, we also have babies, babies, babies. We have more babies than I can stand. Babies take up too much of the spotlight. Stinkin' babies. Anyway, besides Kathy's grandbabies (who are visiting for the summer), the farm animal babies are increasing up the wazoo. Holy cow are we overrun by babies! We do not however have any such cow, holy or secular, baby or adult, I am sorry to tell you bovine animal admirers.

What we do have now is a bottle-fed lamb tramping around the upstairs, nibbling on jackets sitting on the backs of chairs, maaa-ing for mama (who in her confused little mind is my Kathy), prancing around behind Kathy wherever she may go. Sort of reminds me of a nursery rhyme: Kathy had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb . . . and all that jazz. Well, except that she is more like a dirty brown color instead of a white as snow color, but whatever.

We also just got a passel, er, group, er, some sort of gathering of chicks sitting inside a cardboard box under a sun lamp right inside the garage door. Unlike my ear-catching (Isaac has the gall to say "ear-deafening") squawks, these disgusting little lady angels keep up a perpetual quiet chirp. Born only yesterday, they seem completely delighted to chirp, nibble on chick feed, and daintily sip (and walk through) their water dish. At least so far, they seem much cuter than they are interesting, not an insult anyone would ever give to me, by golly.

The babies are not all coddled in the indoors (thank heavens or I think I would puke). In fact, there is a baby goat out in the barnyard, born right here on this amazing little farm, who is a month old, only a one-day difference in birthdays between the lamb and the kid. The kid is a male, currently nursing from his mama goat, helping provide a milk goat for the summer. (I warn you, not everybody has the goat milking skill to begin with, but you can try your hand if you think you're tough enough.)

We have one other addition who is still bordering on the baby stage: an alpaca. This white huacaya alpaca just joined the farm about a week ago. What is an alpaca you say? Well, I have no idea. What do you think I am? A fountain of unending knowledge. No, just kidding; I mean, I really am . . . a fountain of unending knowledge, that is. An alpaca is a bit like a llama. Both were bred domestically in South America for wool. The alpaca's wool is softer than a llama's wool, though.

Okay, okay, you are here just getting yourselves a free GEE Funny Farm lesson and I won't have any more of that. If you really want to know about these animals, and you really want to admire yourself an adorable little ball of fuzz or fur, and you really want to set your eyes on this hunk of white perfection, then you really ought to come see us. Please. I want out of my cage. And I wouldn't mind a few French fries either.

Did You Miss Me?

Well, you may have thought you'd seen the last of me. But, fortunately for us both, it's not true. What happened to us, you may wonder. Well, you people have crazy government systems-- that's a big part of the problem. In the end, however, we have prevailed: The GEE Funny Farm has finally gotten a conditional use permit so that you may, if you are so lucky, come and see my fine, beautiful, white feathered body. And, despite all my reservations about money-insurance stuff, somebody had the brains and the guts to think, "Yeah, these slobbery dogs, hairy llamas, hopping wallabies, and handsome parrots ought to be viewed and admired." So now we can be.

So far, Kathy got one job visiting a group of adults having a farm day theme, but they didn't want me--not right in the head I tell you. They seemed not to think that parrots qualify. So I was left at home. Fortunately, things are about to change. I'm headed out on the town one month from now on February 5th to go to the Great Lakes Pet Expo at State Fair Park. I will be there all day, prepared to sign autographs and pose for pictures. So make sure to mark it on your calendar. In dark red. Permanent marker. And bring French fries.